In December 2002, I graduated for CSU, Stanislaus with a degree in Social Science.
After my graduation, up until now, I have not been able to use my degree, much less get paid to do something in my field of study. So this morning, when I woke up, I thought I would try something with my twins.
You see, every morning and afternoon, but mainly in the morning, all they do is fuss, fight, kick, SCREAM and CRY. It is enough to drive a parent to tears, much less want to shut down for a while.
So this morning, I warmed their milk as usual, made their oatmeal, as usual and heated up their french bread sticks, as usual while Daddy changed their diapers. Only this morning, I did not look at them, either head on or to from my peripheral vision; even if they were "talking" to me.
When their milk was done being warmed and their food was warmed, Daddy, after taking his shower let me take mine before he went to work. After my shower, I got out, dressed and Daddy went to work.
My twins and I went into our family room where we watched their favorite DVD. While in their, Twin "B" took it upon herself to sit on my lap, looking at me, while I did not look at her. Twin "A" was at the TV pointing out each animal, shape and color to me. I shook my head, but said nothing.
While all this was occurring, not once did "A" and "E" scream, cry, hit, kick, pull hair or FUSS. You see, they were more concerned why Mommy was not paying attention to them than doing their normal every morning routine of fussiness, screaming, crying, kicking, pushing, pinching, hitting, etc.. They were concerned for me and not what they could get or want.
When I was blow drying my hair, they both looked at me from the carpet and I still said nothing to them or looked at them. As I began putting on my makeup, they came into the bathroom, like they are not supposed to do and again, I said nothing. At this time, they climbed up on the toilet seat cover, like they are not supposed to, and I said nothing. Twin "B" took the shower hair catcher off the counter, played with it and with the toilet seat cover open, it fell in. At this time, Twins "A" and "B" put their hands inside to toilet to retrieve the shower hair catcher. Now normally, I would probably be raising my voice at them right about now and showing my disapproval. But today, since I was doing this experiment, I said nothing and again, did not look at them.
After my make up was on, I went into their room with them and changed their diapers and put on their clothes, still saying nothing or looking at them. As I was changing their diapers and because I was saying nothing to them, especially Twin "B", she did not get upset or fussy while I was changing her diaper or putting on her clothes as she normally does. This same thing with Twin "A". Before I put on their shirts, I went into the bathroom and wet a hand clothe to clean off their wet hands and arms from touching the toilet water. I was not going to let that toilet water remain on their arms and hand all day. Very unsanitary indeed. I am all about sanitary and not being sick.
Once they were dressed I proceeded to straighten my hair, still not talking to them or looking at them. When I was done with my hair, that is when I looked at them and said, "Let's go somewhere." So, I packed them in our SUV and we went to Linens N Things (purchased some things), Costco (did not find what I was looking for and left), went to McD and got two small fries and finally to Starbucks and got a Venti Peppermint Mocha Frapp, then came home.
While in the car, I did begin talking to them and pointing out objects to them, but what I learned today was: If you do not pay attention to your fussy, crying and always screaming twin babies/toddlers, they will want to know what is wrong with Mommy instead of what is bothering them and the crying, screaming and total melt down or fussiness will subside for a while.
Just think, if I did this at least 3 times a week what peace I would have in my household. It would not be ALL ABOUT THEM for at least 3-4 hours out of the day. They might see that it does not always have to be all about them and that they can not always get what they want all the time. True, we come into this world selfish and always wanting, but there has to be something a parent can do to nip this in the bud, right? Like improvise or use a new and not harmful strategy to get your point across.
The hair clip they are wearing I made at home.
Last year when "A" and "E" turned one, I began taking photos of them in my wedding gown.
