Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Pros and Cons of Having Two and Having Twins

Is it twice as nice?  Or is it double the trouble?  Moms often hope for twins so they won’t have to go through more than one pregnancy to fulfill that white picket fence fantasy of a two-child household, but other moms prefer not having to take out the mortgage on the house to pay for twice the diapers.

So, let’s break it down. 

Twins vs Two: Pregnancy

Two kids, one pregnancy.  For moms who don’t enjoy carting around a beach ball belly most of the year, having twins is sort of a two-for-one coupon. 

Moms who enjoy the bonding of pregnancy can enjoy it twice by having two children without having a third one eating away at the savings. 

Twins vs Two: Parenting Experiences

With twins, the parenting experience is condensed into one.  Unlike when you have two children, twins allow parents to go through the painful stages of parenthood once.  When teething is done, it’s done.

On the other hand, twins don’t allow for do-overs.  Mothers of two get to learn from their mistakes from having the first child and applying their lessons to the second.  Mothers of twins get no such luxury, and barely get any time alone with one child instead of both. 

Twins vs Two: Playmates

Twins are each other’s playmates.  Moms of twins won’t find themselves playing with toys for hours on end while fighting off sleep; instead, the kids play with each other, leaving parents enough time for naps, chores, and blogging!

Meanwhile, twins are also rivals.  Sometimes, Mom has to skip the shower she planned while the twins were playing because they started slapping each other around.  This means that twins deal with sibling rivalry early in life and are over it by later stages, but it can make the early years difficult. 

Two children of slightly varying age can take a big-sibling, little-sibling approach to most experiences in life until about the teen years when the older one suddenly wants nothing to do with the younger one. 

Twins vs Two: The Money Thing

Two kids, one pregnancy, one empty bank account.  Twins mean having to buy two of almost anything—from diapers in early stages to college savings later.

Then again, when the kids leave the house, it’s all yours.  It does mean an empty nest, but it can also mean your freedom.  Vacation in Tuscany, anyone? 

Twins vs Two: Attention from Others

When you have twins, everyone talks to you.  This might be nice at first—especially if your own mother comes by the wash the dishes, do the laundry, walk the dogs—but it gets old quickly.  Sometimes you don’t want another living soul around you, and that’s when strangers stop you to squeeze your twins’ cheeks or your mother-in-law won’t stop showering you with useless gifts.  (Did you not insist on wooden instead of plastic toys?  Or did she pretend not to hear you again?)

Most moms of twins will tell you: it’s not a pros and cons situation.  It’s a matter of the support structure in your life as well as the stress you can take and the sleep you can lose before you crack. 

Other moms know that twins may be cute, but we wouldn’t change anything about the two we have for the world. 

Catie Keeler is the primary researcher and writer for mortgagerates.info. Her most recent accomplishments include graduating from the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill with a degree in business and communications. Her current focus for the site involves commercial mortgage rates and current mortgage rates in texas.

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